We spend a lot time taking care of our kids, trying to be better parents, trying to run our household, trying to be good partners and good sons and daughters. We are constantly on the hunt for the next trick in shopping, cleaning, beauty, parenting, relationships, anything to make life go along just a little bit easier. But there’s one thing we have a tendency to overlook that is probably the most important part of all of this:
Taking care of self.
Why is this so hard to do? You’d think it would be natural.
You’d think there would be something built within us to tell us to stop, slow down, rest and rejuvenate. I suspect there is but somewhere along the line we have learned to ignore those signals. And so we barrel on. On to the next afterschool activity, the next store, the next bill. And we are dying inside.
I’m not immune to neglecting the care of self. I’m probably among the worst.
I’m writing this partly to remind myself how important it is to take care of my children’s mother. I’m the only one they have. When I run myself down, when I spread myself too thin, they only get part of me. They don’t get all that they deserve. So how am I doing them any favors?
My partner gets a cranky, irrational, irritable version of me that rarely has the capacity to act with love and reason. Because of what? Because I believe I must do it all? Be it all?
I have to accept that I can’t do or be it all.
It’s humbling. But it’s true. But I can do and be all of myself. If I take care of myself.
Moms and dads, take time for yourself.
Do what makes you feel energized and happy. Be selfish. Because it’s not truly selfish to refuel. It’s what you must do to give all of yourself to your family. If you become too depleted you are not giving your full self and that, in and of itself, is unfair. They deserve better and so do you.
So get out there and do you. Your family needs you to take care of you. So you can take care of them. Do it the right way. What may seem selfish is the most selfless act of all.
Do you have trouble making time for yourself? What do you like to do to recharge?
©UnnecessaryWisdom.wordpress.com 2013
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unnecessarywisdom 
I have really struggled with taking time for me since the birth of my son. I have even forgotten what I can do to recharge in a lot of ways. I guess I feel a bit stuck because I’m not yet comfortable with a babysitter yet. Maybe starting solids will help me feel more comfortable. We’ll see. Either way, I’m pondering what I should do for me time…what will refresh my soul. Cause I know I need it.
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Posted by laughingpromises | June 25, 2013, 5:50 amI understand how you feel. It’s so easy to lose ourselves. My kids are older and I still struggle to make time for myself or even know what it might be that I would WANT to do. Just reminding ourselves we need to do this is a start at least. I hope. ❤ Zoe
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Posted by unnecessarywisdom | June 25, 2013, 8:19 amWhen we become mothers this is definitely one thing that is extremely hard for us to do. I remember before marriage and kids, I was definitely a selfish person. Now, if I can just get an ounce of that selfishness back, it would do me the world of good. Making strides to improve upon this area….
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Posted by Sharon | June 25, 2013, 4:20 pmMe, too, Sharon. It’s so hard. But so terribly important. I’m rooting for you!! Let me know if you come up with anything 😉
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Posted by unnecessarywisdom | June 25, 2013, 4:48 pmI neglected myself when my boy was younger since I was his major caregiver. Now that he is older, I have more time for myself. When I’m tired or extremely tired I am able to get him into the bedroom, give him a book or the ipad, while he reads or play I get about an hour of nap, in peace and not worrying that he is out there doing something dangerous.
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Posted by DinoMama | June 25, 2013, 5:33 pmThat’s a great idea. I wish I could take naps, too! That sounds amazing 🙂
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Posted by unnecessarywisdom | June 26, 2013, 4:57 amI so agree with you today my daughter and I got our feet done but it still wasn’t a alone time for just me my son is finally sleeping and I’m now sitting down reading my blogs but I still need to pamper myself do something for just me and I never do
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Posted by Miriam DeLaRosa (@MDelarosa2kids) | June 25, 2013, 9:19 pmYes, we need our own hobbies or interests or outlets. It’s so hard. Keep trying, Miriam ❤
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Posted by unnecessarywisdom | June 26, 2013, 5:00 am